Wedding Cake

This afternoon I returned from lunch to a full email inbox. I thought somebody had spammed me, but it turned out to just be Julie with a plethora of wedding cakes to look at. Through the miracle of Gmail chat I was able to provide instant feedback on the many designs.

Me: holy crap I am getting email bombed
halp

Jules: tell me if you like any of these cakes

I attempt to pause long enough to provide appearance of careful cake perusal.

Jules: oh yeah there is one more
sent

Me: magnificent
a marvel of cake design
I love it
best of the bunch
saved the best for last
the apogee of cake achievement

Jules: it was a grooms cake in another wedding

Me: never before has the world seen a cake of this excellence
this will be the gold standard of all cakes to come
this cake is the zenith of the wedding cake field
like TS Eliot's "Prufrock", it will be a standard that will haunt this designer their entire career

Pause, I assume I am off the hook.

Jules: do you have access to a color printer?

Another pause as I consider how best to answer this question.

Me: yes

Jules: oh, can I send you the cakes and have you print them?

Another pause. Panic. I choke and leave the door open.

Me: how many cakes are we talking

Second flood of cake spam begins.