Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Congratulations are due to my friend Dan (his blog is featured in my list of "Interesting People") and his wife Carrie, who recently announced that they are expecting their first child sometime in January. Great news for them, because I know this is something they've wanted for awhile.

Another one of my friends having a kid got me thinking about my own possibilities of fatherhood someday... it would seem to me that having a child changes everything about your entire life, a million times more than just getting married does.

I've never wanted kids, and after some thought on the topic in light of Dan and Carrie's news, I still don't. I want to be able to retire early. I want to be able to go out whenever I please right now without getting a babysitter. I don't want to deal with the "I hate you" rebellion of the teenage years.. I don't think I'd be well suited for it. I don't want to deal with trying to take the kid out to a restaurant and keeping them under control while they fling spaghetti on the people at adjacent tables. Kids just tend to drive me absolutely nuts after more than a few hours.

But, of course, I say that now. Who knows what I'll think in another 14 years when I'm 40 and the panic induced by my newfound sense of mortality brought on by a raging midlife crisis kicks in... I'll probably react by having a half dozen kids.

And there is something else, an intangible that might just trump every other argument I've laid out... it has to be a pretty cool thing to come home from work and see your kid smile and say: "Daddy's home!"

So congrats to Dan and Carrie, and to all the mothers and fathers out there already doing what they can to bring the next generation up right... you're a lot braver than I am.


dan and carrie said...

Thank you! We look forward to seeing you on the 21st ;)

Ah, adventure to be sure. My parents get their revenge. ;)

~dan and carrie

chornbe said...

Kids *do* change everything about your life. I mean, I can't think of a single thing that I do that hasn't changed, even in the most subtle way since having kids.

And hey... any time you want to give it a shot, I've got 5 I can loan you. Everything from that little kid, "Daddy's home" thing right up to and including the "I hate you!!" teenage rebellion thing. Pick your poison - I have some.

Elmar said...

Just remember one thing: If you decide for kids at the age of 40, there will be no afterlife... at least not one after your kids left home ;-). Especially if we assume that you don´t get the little suckers delivered right to your door by an online shopping channel.

I´m 29 and I have three kids (5,3,0.3) and I really, really enjoy it - but I am also looking forward to the time, when they have their own live or at least or not thoroughly dependend on their parents.

People without children that talk about multipling themselves and how it changes their lives tend to forget that their life is very likly to change to a better one (ok, I don´t count the first 6 month here) and that possibilities occour that they can´t even think about now.

Of course that might be different, if you really don´t like children that much or can´t take their induced chaos.

My congratulations to the expecting couple. You have the opportunity to shape an extraordenary life for your child while having real fun. There is NOTHING more satisfying and rewarding in life!