Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Wedding Cake

This afternoon I returned from lunch to a full email inbox. I thought somebody had spammed me, but it turned out to just be Julie with a plethora of wedding cakes to look at. Through the miracle of Gmail chat I was able to provide instant feedback on the many designs.

Me: holy crap I am getting email bombed

Jules: tell me if you like any of these cakes

I attempt to pause long enough to provide appearance of careful cake perusal.

Jules: oh yeah there is one more

Me: magnificent
a marvel of cake design
I love it
best of the bunch
saved the best for last
the apogee of cake achievement

Jules: it was a grooms cake in another wedding

Me: never before has the world seen a cake of this excellence
this will be the gold standard of all cakes to come
this cake is the zenith of the wedding cake field
like TS Eliot's "Prufrock", it will be a standard that will haunt this designer their entire career

Pause, I assume I am off the hook.

Jules: do you have access to a color printer?

Another pause as I consider how best to answer this question.

Me: yes

Jules: oh, can I send you the cakes and have you print them?

Another pause. Panic. I choke and leave the door open.

Me: how many cakes are we talking

Second flood of cake spam begins.


Anonymous said...

You *DO* realize Jules reads this blog, right...?

I consider you a good, close friend. I'll mourn your passing, but admire your ability to just put it out there.

robustyoungsoul said...

Don't worry, I asked for permission.

Julie said...

Email bombed, ha! I only sent you 8 cakes. Just wait until I start looking at flowers.


robustyoungsoul said...

It's called creative license. And besides, now that it is on the internet it is automatically true.

Andrew said...

I guess now is not the time to mention that you've blocked Julie's email as spam, is it?

Kitna Forever!!!

I'm 0-3...

dave's mom said...

The wedding cake issue of Soul Kerfuffle (on newstands everywhere next to Martha Stewart's Living) was fantastic as well as delicious.

But you are one dumb shlub. Look at the cakes! This is important, buddy! You're going to have to eat at least ONE mouthful anyway - if Julie doesn't shmush it in your face......

statistical fact: couples who gently feed the traditional piece of wedding cake to their new spouse have a greater chance of a long-lasting marriage than those who shmush the cake in each other's faces.

I found this fact alongside the statistical fact that couples who do not aim loaded handguns at each other have a greater chance of a long-lasting marriage than those that point and shoot.

love, mom
(going on 30 years)

Julie said...

Is there a correlation between newlyweds who get cake smushed in their faces and those who point and shoot?

White Kobe said...

whats wrong with poiting and shooting???

Anonymous said...

As a newly wed person I have to say I agonized over cakes. For hours. And then again, more intensely, after I met my baker. (Jules, you know this.)

And after I had an amazing wedding and super-fun honeymoon, I finally saw a picture of the confection - and honestly said, "Oh, is that what the cake looked like? Huh. Not exactly what I expected but boy was it tasty!"

I thought the cake design was super important. In reality, I only looked at the thing in person for about 4 minutes and I was already buzzed by that time.

Of course, your experience may vary, and you should have great fun oogling designs and dreaming about your cake. But once the project moves from 'fun' to 'chore' -just pick a pretty one and move one. Advice from an old married lady.

PS My role as one of Yeager's oldest friends in no way biased this post. I'm not trying to save his 4s$, but more save BOTH members of the couple from unnecessary dessert related stress.


Andrew said...

Give me Oreos or give me Death!!!

DM Osbon said...

AH brings back memories! We had a chocolate centred cake rather than the more traditional flavours...and I didn't even get a mouthful of it on the day!

Has the decision been made?

heather (errantdreams) said...


Umm, well, at least the end will be yummy...