Thursday, August 25, 2005

More Pranks

Consider this a follow up to the now infamous "Nice Bike" incident.

The last four days I've been on vacation in Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia. Julie and I went down there mostly for Busch Gardens, which was a blast, but also enjoyed the nice scenery, shopping, and restaurants as well. We even met a nice older couple that had retired there who suggested some of the places that were popular with the William & Mary college students.

But you don't care about any of that. So let me give you:

The Setup
Folks are no doubt aware that I'm a sports fan. That includes football. I used to play fantasy football a couple of years ago, until I realized I wasn't really watching football anymore, I was watching numbers. So I stopped playing. And when I stopped playing, I realized something very important: Daunte Culpepper is a fraud.

This guy always puts up incredible numbers: yardage, touchdowns, QB rating, etc. Last year he had an amazing year by just about any standard according to those numbers.

BUT... none of those numbers account for fumbles. Daunte Culpepper consistently leads the league in fumbles by a wide margin. QB rating doesn't count fumbles. Fantasy football usually doesn't count fumbles. Fumbles are not accounted for in any yardage categories. They just disappear. If you count fumbles, Daunte Culpepper is near the top of the turnover list every year in football.

So anyway, I made this point (rather loudly) last year during football season, and as the new season approaches some of the gents at work have, of course, started to rib me about it again.

The Gag
When I returned to the office this morning, I found the following taped to my screen:

The madness didn't even come close to stopping there. I found copies of the picture in a variety of places:

1) Once the taped picture was removed from the monitor, it was revealed that it was also my new desktop wallpaper.

2) The framed picture on my desk of Julie had been replaced with a framed picture of Daunte Culpepper.

3) Every drawer in my desk had been lined with Daunte Culpepper photos.

4) Every folder in my desk had been filled with Daunte Culpepper photos.

5) The inside of every overhead cabinet above my desk was lined with photos.

6) My box of Raisin Bran was covered AND FILLED with photos.

7) My programming books had Daunte Culpepper inserts.

8) A folded picture of Daunte Culpepper was placed under my mousepad.

And finally, perhaps most brilliantly, the speed dial settings on my phone were changed to the following:

* Daunte's Home
* Daunte's Cell
* Daunte's Mom
* Daunte's Agent
* Daunte's Car Service
* Daunte's Dry Cleaner
* Daunte's Pizzeria
* Daunte just fumbled! Suicide Hotline
* Daunte's #1 Fan (My Cellphone)

I'm told by the pranksters themselves that I still haven't found all of the pictures.

So, to reiterate a point I have already made in a previous post:

"Never, ever let anyone know that something is annoying to you. Better to let it eat at your insides until you cry without anyone understanding why."

Yup, it's good to be back.


JCM said...

* Daunte just fumbled! Suicide Hotline

Best Speed Dial Ever!!!!

Charlie said...

I hear Daunte Culpepper rides a Nice Bike....

chornbe said...

So, when are you going away again? I'll need you to be gone at least a full week for the next one...


Lisa said...

Cab ride in NYC, $15.
Hotel in Virginia, $150 a night. Dante Culpepper fumbling all over your entire universe...


Daunte C. said...

Yo you got somethin' to say to me, biatch. That's right. I AM YOUR HERO!

Call me. You got the number.

Chris said...

Found your blog going through randomly. Those are some dedicated pranksters.

Donovan said...

Damn Dave, that just hurts. All this time I thought you were MY biggest fan. Why you go and do me like that? First FredEx talkin' trash, then T.O., and now this? I know Daunte's got the numbers, but I thought I meant something to you. Et tu, Dave?

dan cross said...

Those guys are just ruthless

Karri said...

Well, at least your coworkers have a good sense of humor! :-)