Nice Bike

Most people learn at a very early age that the best way to avoid being teased is to not let the teaser know that what they're doing bothers you. Pretty soon, the average bully will lose interest and move on.

Chornbe, my friend and office mate at work (whose blog is linked in my list of "Interesting People"), is a pretty avid motorcycle enthusiast. A few other people in my group are as well, and they've been spending a lot of time lately discussing/debating/looking at a variety of bikes. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Person arriving to interrupt: "Hey, did you see the picture of that nice bike I sent you?"
Chornbe: "Yeah! That's a really nice lookin' bike."
Person: "Yeah, I thought it was a nice bike myself."
Second Person, overhearing bike conversation and wishing to participate: "Found a nice bike huh? Let me get a look at it."
Chornbe: "I got the picture open right here. It's a sweet lookin' bike."
Second Person: "Ooooh, yeah, that's a REAL nice bike."
Original Culprit: "Yeah, I was just saying I thought it was a nice lookin' bike."

You get the picture. After about 3 weeks of this (and a few days of too little sleep), I finally snapped and expressed my annoyance by claiming I was going to keep a tally of how many times the phrase "nice bike", or some variation thereof, was used on a daily basis in our office. I predicted it would be in the hundreds.

Well, I should've kept my trap shut. The gents at work have since cooked up a variety of diabolical schemes to torment me. Some of the highlights so far:

1) Taping a printout of the words "NICE BIKE" to my monitor. Upon removal, a running copy of Microsoft Word is revealed with the words "NICE BIKE" typed in it.

2) A spoon with the words "NICE BIKE" written several times all over it and placed on my keyboard (this is even more amusing if you are familiar with "Real Ultimate Power", i.e. "I once saw a ninja flip out on this guy for dropping a spoon in a diner").

3) A picture of a guy on a bike taken with a camera phone sent to my email address with the text "Nice bike!".

4) Chornbe posting my email address on his motorcycle forum asking everyone there to send me an email message containing only the phrase "Nice bike".

Let this be a cautionary tale to the rest of you. Never, ever let anyone know that something is annoying to you. Better to let it eat at your insides until you cry without anyone understanding why.

Despite the misery, I have to admit that it is a... dare I say it?... nice joke.