Let me preface this by saying that I like my job. I really do. I don't mind the fact that occasionally I have to deal with office politics, managerial doublespeak, and the tech holy wars of Microsoft vs. The World on a daily basis. But this past week I've heard a couple of conversations that are just so dumb that I have to share them.
Conversation #1: Status Update
Moderator: "I see that this project's status has been changed from 'In Progress' to 'Deferred'. What's the reason for this change?"
Helpful Person: "We're moving it to a later date."
Next time I mark a project as "Cancelled", I'll make sure to report the reason as "No longer doing it."
Conversation #2: Requesting Access
Guy Who Needs Login: "I need access to this database so I can troubleshoot something."
Helpful Person: "Other people have confirmed that they have access to that database, so we know IT'S not the problem."
This is like saying:
"I need a dollar for a soda."
"Other people have soda, so we know that soda isn't the problem."